Understanding Teenage Love: Crushes, Infatuation, and True Love
- Rossana Snee
- Apr 21
- 5 min read
Feelings of first love are common and often anticipated during adolescence. However, when adults with years of experience may still have a hard time understanding the emotion, teens are also expected to go through the trouble—maybe even more.
They must discern matters like crushes, fleeting adorations, and infatuation before they truly recognize if what they’re experiencing is true teenage love.
What Is Teenage Love Like?
From a behavioral perspective, young love is accompanied by shrieks of glee because of shared glances or even the slightest youthful hand-holding. In a psychological sense, teenage love is associated with attraction and acceptance. It’s that spark of sudden fondness even after only a single glance is thrown. In the phase where rebellion and isolation are common, teen romance equates to belongingness, finding someone to connect with, someone who sees through facades.
Teenage love is a wholesome and magical experience filled with butterflies in the stomach and exciting gestures and moments. However, the moment one starts to truly dig deep into the concept, beyond manners and movements, it can also be quite confusing for the brain that has yet to fully develop.
Rossana Snee’s Papi, Por Favor! touches on the very complex nature of teenage romance.
How Love Is Obvious Yet Also Confusing to Teens
To teach readers how to navigate love as a teenager, Rossana composes a compelling narrative about young love, its fresh beginnings, and how it endures society’s overprotectiveness.
It follows Madison, a beautiful 16-year-old who has yet to experience love but ultimately experiences its complexities when she meets Ben—good-looking and kind-hearted Ben.
Readers follow along as Madison first feels the foreign spark, how she makes sense of it, and how she tries to subdue her feelings, knowing she can’t be in love and that her Papi, especially, won’t allow it.
Through the narrative, readers begin to understand the reality that teenagers experience when they fall in love. In addition to not fully comprehending what love is, they’re also taught to avoid it, told that people their age shouldn’t be welcoming those thoughts.
Hence, the confusing part of falling in love for teenagers goes beyond understanding what they’re feeling but also allowing themselves to express it, especially in the face of society’s cynicism.
However, as much as love is tricky, it can also be stubborn. Madison experiences this and realizes that the heart doesn’t really choose what society deems to be the “proper” timing.
Why Love Feels Intense for Teenagers
Teenage love is often associated with intense emotions, feelings that the young heart can yet begin to fathom. It’s a fresh and brand new experience, something so foreign it may come across as overwhelming to those who are yet to make sense of it.
Most teenagers experience love the same way Madison does. They’re unaware of what it entails and unsure of how to tackle it. Not to mention, teenage brains are yet to fully develop, further contributing to why romance during this age feels intense (even when it shouldn’t be).
The surge of hormones teenagers experience interferes with their emotions, which the developing brain is yet capable of properly regulating. This, plus the fact that teens can be quite emotional, leads to a heightened sense of feelings in early romantic relationships.
What Are the Different “Phases” of Teen Romance?
Hormonal changes, brain development, and their lack of experience make every romantic moment feel intense to you (teenagers). This is why you hastily jump into calling most connections love, regardless of depth and sincerity.
While this can be innocent at times, it can also be quite heartbreaking, further explaining why you must understand your emotions and experiences. This way, you can tell which connections to nurture and which will eventually pass.
To help with this, let’s break down the typical “phases” or identities of teen love.
What do you often get mistakes as love?
Crushes: The First Spark
Every excitement about a person is defined as a crush. This phase is characterized by a strong but often fleeting attraction towards someone. It’s accompanied by intense desire and a longing for a deeper connection beyond platonic. With a crush, you may begin to romanticize the other person, thinking about what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with them.
Signs You’re Crushing on Someone
Increased heart rate due to excitement and nervousness (the butterflies in the stomach).
Warmer cheeks when they’re around.
Daydreaming about them or any interaction, no matter how small.
Creating situations to be near them.
Infatuation: When Feelings Overwhelm
What comes after crushes is often the phase where you can’t stop thinking about them. This is what infatuation is. When crushes can be light and wholesome, infatuation is more intense. It’s characterized by strong sexual attraction, to the point of idealizing the person with an unrealistic perception of them.
Signs It’s Infatuation
It hits quickly and intensely, accompanied by euphoria or excitement.
Perceiving the other as perfect or ideal, without flaws or imperfections.
Your attraction is primarily due to superficial reasons.
Obsessive thinking about the future even with limited knowledge about them.
Teen Love: True Love for Teenagers
While adults may belittle what you experience romantically, you’re still perfectly capable of experiencing true love. This goes beyond physical attraction or giddiness. Instead, true teenage love is characterized by a deep emotional connection that involves loyalty, respect, and trust. True love runs deep because this gives you a sense of belonging in a world that often quickly judges. It’s founded on emotional bonds built by shared experiences and values.
Signs It’s True Teenage Love
You understand and acknowledge their imperfections.
You know and love them for their personality and beliefs.
You feel comfortable around them enough to be vulnerable and authentic.
You work towards an envisioned future with them.
Why Is It Okay to Not Have All the Answers About Love?
Love to the young minds is a long, beautiful journey. Hence, it’s important to remember not to rush to a destination. Enjoy the process of being in love, and at the same time, allow the people around you—parents, especially—to understand how you’re changing and growing alongside your feelings.
While knowing the different identities of teenage love will help you protect yourself from heartache, embracing each is crucial. Experiencing them may feel insignificant compared to settling down with someone when you’re older, but these phases will be transformational. They will help you discover who you are.
Thus, keep it real. Embrace your emotions and just live in the moment.
To get more in tune with emotions and understand what love is, read Papi, Por Favor! by Rossana Snee. Unfolding from the eyes of someone who is also new to love, navigate it alongside Madison. Grab a copy of the book now.
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