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  • Writer's pictureRossana Snee

How to Get the ONE!

You’ve heard it time and time again, "When you’re dating to catch The One, put your best foot forward! Do whatever you need to do to get him/her to fall for you. Get dolled up even though you never wear make-up. Go to the baseball game even though you can't stand sports, eat sushi even though the last time you did, you were disgusted by the raw fish.

So what exactly is your TRUE Foot? If you're being someone you're not, if you’re faking it to get the person to like you, then you might as well consider it FALSE ADVERTISEMENT. That is not your True Foot. That is like the ugly step sisters trying to force fit themselves into Cinderella's glass slipper.

You will get the WRONG partner if you're anything other than your true self during the entire dating process. If you pretend to like baseball when you don't, what's going to happen if you do catch him? Eventually, he will want to go to another game and you're not going to want to go. What for? you think. You're already together, right? Who needs another painful, slow nine innings? But is that fair to the person who thought he'd finally found the girl with whom to share his love of baseball? Nope!

If you’re faking who you are to get someone to want you, the truth will eventually come back and bite you in the butt and you'll get exactly that for which advertised. It may seem enticing in the beginning, but it will be disastrous in the long run. Getting someone to like you based on lies is not the way to go about it. It would be like misleading the witness; like buying a strawberry cheesecake, then discovering it's lemon when you bite into it. What a shock!

So how to get The One! Here are some steps to help you on your way. With your TRUE Foot forward.

Be Genuine! This allows the natural process of the other person’s realistic reactions to you to take place in a reliable manner. The more you MISREPRESENT

yourself, the more you subvert this process.

Be Yourself! Allow for transparency; be who you really are. That way the person you’re dating can make an informed decision. Now, that doesn't mean you have to divulge everything on the first date. There is a thing called boundaries that is important. Too much information too soon, is not always appropriate.

Don’t Pretend to like something if you don’t. Again, that will come back to haunt you.

Don’t act too Needy and Desperate, you’ll only drive the person away. Most people like the adrenaline rush of the chase. Remember, You become more interesting if you're busy, have "a thing," or are simply too tired to go out. That makes you more alluring. If you're always available, you'll appear boring, with a less than appealing personality.

Respect Yourself; set your boundaries from the beginning as to what you will or will not do. Don't be afraid you'll lose your love interest. If you have to lie to keep him/her, that person isn't meant for you. For instance, if you love Bollywood movies and he doesn't like anything to do with India or dancing, don't be shy about saying that you enjoy them. You might find yourself watching Shah Rukh Kahn on your Smart Phone while hiding in the closet. And let me tell you, three hours is a long time to hide out in that small, musty enclosure.

Make sure you’re on the same page with regards to the big things: money, children, in-laws, and communication.


On the other hand, you can’t KEEP someone who is not meant to be with you, no matter how hard you try.

Keep this in mind: There are no relationships that are supposed to work out that don’t.

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