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  • Writer's pictureRossana Snee

How to Deal with Negative People!

They're out there! Those people you encounter on a daily basis. It could be a family member, a friend, co-worker, even a checker at the grocery store. We wish they could all be like Mr. Rogers, Mary Poppins, or Mother Theresa, but unfortunately, the majority of people with whom you come in contact aren't like that.

The general population is often wrapped up in their own lives, dealing with their own garbage. And sometimes that garbage spills onto the next person they meet, which could ultimately be you. Remember, most encounters, negative or positive, don't have much or anything to do with you and everything to do with the other person.

So it's're going to run into nasty people; people who love drama and try to invite everyone they meet to their performance; their terrible lives, if you will. Don't get sucked in. An encounter with these people could leave you feeling like you've been run over by a MAC truck. Since I want you home in one happy piece, I've spotlighted for you several tips to help you deal with the inevitable run-ins.

1) When you receive the invitation to argue, DON'T accept it. You cannot debate with a negative person. Negative people are apt to have decidedly staunch views, and no matter what you say or do, even if you present unquestionable evidence, they will not see it. It's truly a losing battle. Whatever you say will be thrown back at you, and like a prosecutor closing his argument, he will prove his case time after time without giving you a chance to present yours. Don't accept the invitation.

2) Take a vow of silence. This one may be tough. After all, if you hear something with which you absolutely disagree, your instinct is to fight back. See Rule #1. There is no fighting back a negative person. Whatever the person says, either nod, or say nothing at all. If they are trying to engage you in battle, or are working on making you feel sorry for them and their "miserable lives," don't say anything. Or let's say, for example, someone says, "I can't believe what is happening to our country! It's going to hell in a handbasket. It's those filthy_____________!" And let's suppose you affiliate yourself with those filthy____________. Take the vow of silence. NOW! You can't win this battle. It doesn't matter what they say. The only thing offended will be your Ego. And what does It know? If you want to answer, just respond with, "You think?" If you don't try and argue your case, however relevant you think it is, the other person can't continue to convince you. You've won!

3) Change the topic! Distraction works like a charm. If your negative encounter is gaining some momentum, you might say something like, "Let me interrupt you for a moment; I don't want to you know anything that is good for a sore throat?" Or, this will really throw them, "By the way, before you go on, I have to say I'm loving your jacket. It's so becoming!" If you can do this one, you'll be shocked at what happens. A compliment catches people off guard. Try to sound genuine, though. Most people can spot a phony. Actually compliment them on something that is really good about them.

You WILL run into negative people. Perhaps you deal with one on a frequent basis. Negative people aren't happy people. They're often looking for attention and their dramatic outbursts are a cry for help. If you can avoid them, do so. If you can help them, do that, if you're so inclined.

Remember, it's not about you! Don't take what people say to you personally. Everyone has an agenda. It may not mesh with yours. That's OK.

Stay as joyful as you can and don't let anyone try and steal your mojo!

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