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  • Writer's pictureRossana Snee

Do You Want to Be Likable?

Everyone wants to be liked. Most people, anyway. But some people just don't know quite how to go about it. They feel awkward, unsociable; they don't have the skills or knowhow to do what comes naturally to liked people everywhere.

I've got some good news, though. Below, I've provided several suggestions you can implement immediately so that people are drawn to you, find you likable, and look at you as an interesting and social individual. Someone they'd like to get to know.

Listen, if you already have tons of friends (and I don't mean SM friends); I mean real life friends—people who want to be with you and enjoy your company—fantastic. Read the article anyway! But do share this blog article with people who aren't so fortunate,OK?

If you feel awkward, and would like more people in your tribe, then this is the article for you. There's no need for you to be alone, feeling sad. A few tweaks here and there, and you'll be fighting people off.

Are you ready?

1. Discard any insecurity you may have about yourself. I guarantee you that that insecurity was planted by someone who didn't any know better while you were on their watch. Likable people don't come from a place of insecurity. Confidence is their number one companion. And they show it! If you don't think you have confidence, fake your way into it and watch what happens!

2. Be genuine. People who are popular are honest, genuine, and open. They self-disclose; they aren't afraid to be vulnerable, which in turn, endears them to others. Just don't pretend to be someone you're not in order to fit in. People can usually see through that façade, and it's off-putting.

3. Don’t be judgmental. If you are constantly judging other people, you're going not going to gain any friends. The people to whom you're talking, suspect you'll be talking the same smack about them. Besides, you have been not elected as anyone's judge on this Earth. Don't be the one to cast the first stone, as they say.

4. Be Positive. Being positive is uplifting; it draws people in. It can actually be quite contagious. It will make people feel happy and energized in your presence, unless, of course, they're looking for someone to commiserate with their "horrible" life. In that case, you don't want them in your yours.

5. Don’t make everything a competition. Conversations aren’t competitions. Likable people never steal or one-up their speaker's conversations. They actively listen and ask related questions. Constantly competing with someone is unappealing. You'll only drive people away.

6. Provide Value. Take notice of what people need and offer to help. If they have a problem, help them solve it. I don't mean take everyone under your wing and fix them; I'm just saying, be there for the people who can benefit from your presence.

7. Don’t Fall Back On Small Talk. If you want to develop true friendships, you need to expand your narrative. Don't just talk about the weather. Go deeper. Peel back layers of the proverbial onion. That's how you get to know people and vice versa. Start out slowly, though. You don't want to tell someone your life story on the first day you meet them!

8. Touch People. I don't mean inappropriate touching. No! I mean, reach out and touch their arm, or their shoulder while you're talking, things like that. When you have good physical touch, oxytocin is released in the brain—a neurotransmitter that makes their brain associate you with trust and a slew of other positive feelings. A simple touch or a friendly handshake is all it takes to release oxytocin.

9. Put Away Your Phone. If you want people to like you, you need to pay attention to them. That means you're not constantly on your phone, checking your texts, or scrolling through your Instagram page. Pay attention and be genuine about your interest in what they're saying.

10. Don't Be An Attention Seeker. People aren't drawn to those who are desperate for attention. You don’t need to develop a big, extroverted personality to be likable, either. All you have to do is be friendly and considerate, and you will win people over with your charm.

11. They are consistent. Be reliable!!!! Being reliable means you do what you say you're going to do. You don't go around making promises that you don't keep. That creates distrust in the other person. Be on time. Follow through. Be there when you say you will be.

12. They greet people by name. People love the sound of their names. When you're introduced to someone new, make it a point to remember their name. Then use it in the conversation. Not excessively, mind you, but just enough to let them know you're engaging with them.

Being likable doesn't require excessive amounts of effort. It just requires you to come out of your shell; to trust that you're where you're supposed to be. And if you know that, others will know it as well.

You don't have to be good looking or famous to be likable. You just have to be open, warm, and caring. Don't underestimate the big importance of little things!

Now go and knock 'em dead!

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